Daphne Ledward, Garden Planner, Gardener, Author and Broadcaster

Muffin's Blog

Muffin's Report on the Surfleet Dog Show    by Mr Muffin

September 2012

Because of my brilliant organisation, it would be difficult to find fault with this yearís show.   The weather was perfect, if a little hot, but we canine helpers could sit in the shade of a little copse next door to the show, so we could be comfortable if we wished.   Unfortunately Faune and our temporary foster-sister Misty (now due to go to her forever home very soon) didnít want to admit to being comfortable and kept up a non-stop whinge throughout the Show; and Tom Barnaby never stopped shouting and swearing the whole time, but that was their loss.   There was a good atmosphere around the groan-ups, lots of entries and a healthy profit at the end of it.   Sally-Meg got Best Greyhound Bitch and Reserve Best in Show; it was good that someone in the family won something significant, although it has rather gone to her head.   We also had an excellent photographer for once Ė usually John takes the pictures and runs out of battery halfway through.   My thanks to the judges, groan-up helpers and everyone else involved for helping to make the lives of the Poor Dogs Outside that little bit better.

However, there is never a function of this sort that cannot be improved upon.   I have already made a list of points that need addressing so we can get them up-and-running before next yearís event.

1.    We  will have to leave Faune at home as she gets all the sympathy and interest, unless

2.    There is a class, or preferably two, one in the Greyhounds and Lurchers part and one in the Fun Section, for disabled dogs (sheíd have to come with us then, I suppose).   We could then go head-to-head as to which of us suffers most.   We should both do quite well in these classes as I didnít see any more poor cripples like me (and her) this year.   This could possibly lead to problems, however, as do we count dogs with invisible disabilities, like Discit, for example, who has hypothyroidism but looks fighting fit?   If we do, how do we know they really are disabled, unless we ask for a medical certificate?   And how do you judge a Discit, who looks fantastic most of the time, against a wreck like Faune?    I will really have to give this some thought before next September.

3.   Someone should be designated Ďrunnerí; he or she should visit the barbecue at regular intervals and bring back a supply of burgers and sausages, preferably cooked and in buns.   If it is as hot another time as it was this year, perhaps one of the groan ups could supply a coolbox to be regularly filled with items from the ice cream van.

4.   All dogs entering classes should get a rosette each and a packet of Schmackos.    Dogs with poorly feet should get a larger rosette and two packets of Schmackos (dogs with only three feet donít count for this, though).

5.   We need more fun classes as these are the ones that attract most entries and it gives us greyhounds a good laugh seeing whatís around.

6.   Faune is not allowed in more than one class as sheís always looking for the sympathy vote and it isnít fair.

7.   How about organising a public blood donor session to entertain the visitors?   Iím game if Tom Barnaby and Sally-Meg are (and we all get very large goody bags and toys afterwards).

With a few modifications of this sort, we should achieve perfection, if not next year, then surely the year after (providing I continue to run it myself, of course).   See you all next autumn.

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